Sometimes I hate myself. I hate the fact that I'm just a sucker in declaring a statement. I could say I'm 100% sure about what I just stated, and the next 6 seconds I just want to take my words back. 

- I should just wait. I should just hold on. I should just stay -

And right now, I'm lying on my bed with my oversized sweater thinking about how happy will I be if have that someone who would be there for me, just to make sure that I'm okay.

But I'm the one who left. 

It's not about wanting to go back or to repeat everything from the start, it's just about how bad I am of always saying "okay" to what my heart wants. I mean that is such a stupid thing to do. I have my brain. I just can't stay like this forever. I can't just follow anything what my heart wants. People will get hurt. I will be hurt. 

The truth is I am just way too afraid of being happy. Because I know something bad will happen right after those happy moments. Being left, hurt, broken, or any bad (or worse) things. 

I just can't understand myself. I don't know what I'm typing. But, one point I want to tell you guys....

Don't be afraid to fall and take that damn risk.

But there comes my McDonald's. Thank youuuuuuuuu for being here with me:(:( I feel much much better after eating those unhealthy-but-so-good food<3