I have come to this point of life where I realised that happiness comes within ourselves. Yeah, I heard it so many times from people and books and I finally realised it now. Right this moment.
Now I realised that I can't always depend on people, expecting that they will do the things the same as I do for them because I will end up disappointed. And to that point, it's not even their fault. It's mine. The reason is, not every people have the same heart as mine. And no one asked me to expect.
It's pretty hard for me to admit that. Before, I always blame people who didn't treat me right. I always blame people who left me right after they gave me hope. After all this time, I realised it's all because I was unable to set this expectation low. That is one weakness of mine: I always expect. Even if the chances or signs are fadedly noticeable, I will always treasure something to hold onto. In other side, maybe I gain something positive from that. But most of it will just bring me to another pain.

It's me that makes myself happy. Happiness, it's inside me. I just have to breathe it all out to make it appears. I should've realised this sooner. I can't always expect people to make me happy. I can't always depend on people just to make me feel good about myself. Even those 50 things that makes me happy will be useless and not appreciated if me myself don't want the happiness inside me to be poured out. The first move is to set my mind first, that I have to be happy and I deserve all the happiness.
Can I simply accept this and do this for the entire of my life? I'm in the process of trying.

I realised that life is too short to worry about people who are not sure if they want to stay in your life or not. Life is too short to worry about who should I love, who should I care about. Because when we genuinely love someone, or want to care about them, worries are not needed.
I have to focus to what really matters: this daily life, the reality, life plan, life goals.
I have to focus to the things I love to do, and things that make me stronger.
I have to focus on people who stay with me, support me from the beginning, who gives a shit about me.
I have to focus to myself, love myself a little bit more so I can find myself back, and forgive myself.

And through this post, I also want to express how thankful I am for people who always try to make me happy, stick up with me during my worst and best, make sure I'm okay, and most of all, let me be myself.

We have to realised that we deserves all the happiness. Start from you.