Dear you,
I  clearly remember that night,
when we had this terrible fight.
I screamed to you as if I'm the one who is right.
It rhymes.

I want to let you know, those 10 months  we spend together are the most incredible time of my life. No guy has ever loved me like you do. You made me grow, taught me how to be better,  to be more conscious about my mom, the business, this life, everything people never taught me. You told me your unbelievably amazing life experience. You supported me in everything I love to do, and you scolded me when you knew it will be a bad thing for me. You made me feel like I'm worth it, like I'm special. It's like you were all I ever wanted.

Then I have to face the truth that you'll be moving out of the town. For me, long distance relationship is just....bullshit. Like, we can argue just because you didn't reply my text, or I didn't answer your call, even without distance. That time all I can think is it's the time to move on.

We still call each other after the break-up. We still do the couple talks, kiss each other trough the phone. We were thinking that it's impossible to move on.
Then I met this guy, who can put you aside from my mind (for a while). I was relieved that I thought I can finally move on. Even though, I don't know if he has the mutual feeling or not. I told you that, I told you everything about this guy (and another random guys). Well at least I told you...


I called you every time I missed you.
That night, December 21st, I called you. I can feel that you miss me too. You still try to flirt with me. I asked you if you already saw anyone. And you answered that you didn't. YOU FCKING DIDN'T.
YOU TOLD ME THAT NO ONE IS AS PRETTY AS ME, AS SMART AS ME, AND THOSE OTHER BULLSHITS. I KNOW. I KNOW I'M AWESOME, I'M THE PERFECT ONE FOR YOU  AND IT WILL HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 
BUT OH MY GOD.....
The very next day, December 22nd, I was having lunch with my friends. (Brenda, Cindy, Jason and Sheirwein) and you called me.
I was kinda surprised because you never called me during daytime.
And you called me to tell me that you're going to marry someone.
This upcoming January.
How can you think that I'm going to accept that?
You told me you saw no one. You told me you haven't met someone like me.
And later I found out that you just knew this girl last November.
How do you think it's possible?
Can't you just meet me, look me in the eye and tell me that you are not making up stories?

I know you will never going to marry me. But at least, please be with someone that deserve a man like you. Please don't be in love with the wrong woman.
At my best, I hope the girl you're going to marry later can help make your dreams come true.
Support you in the things you love to do (besides smoking)
Want to watch your favourite movies.
Sing to your favourite songs.
Love your unshaved beard.
Cook your favourite pancakes and spaghetti.
Just like I always do.

I will always remember how you smell, how you laugh, how you hug & kiss me.

And I wanna say thank you. Thank you for this news. It makes me realise how big of my heart that I gave to you. My heart still skip a beat every time I recall the memories I had with you. It makes me realise that the guys entering my life after you, are just... a fling. Thank you so much. Thank you so much that I have to manage all this feeling all over again.

At last, congratulation to both of you. Don't forget to send me the wedding pics :)
I hope she can give you cute babies that you always wanted from me :)
Last two words from me: Fuck you.



With a big heart,
Your hottest Ex, Terry Sinaga