During the downs and bad times, it's almost impossible to just think about things that make us feel happy. But that what I sometimes do. Try to think about those happy things, and it turns out that most of them are the little ones :)

1. A me-day 

The day which everything is all about you, you and you. The day that you can take care of yourself (do a mini spa of your own, learn new hairstyles, diy manicure, etc),  go to your favourite place alone without any buzz around just to sip a cup of coffee and get yourself your favourite sweets, read a book or write a blog post. Yeap. That's what I'm doing right now.




2. When your favourite songs came up in a row on the radio...and you know all of the lyrics.

3. When your food is served way faster than you expected. 

4. Cheap and delicious food. 




5. Food. 




6. Hokkaido Milk Tea

7. Sweet Popcorn. (WHO'S WITH ME?)
You know that one bite of sweet popcorn which is still warm, and crunchy, and so sweet???!!!! Best thing ever.

8. Clicking unfollow button on those annoying and negative-vibed instagram or twitter account. (lol dont unfollow me pls)

9. Food.



10. When you don't have to drop off or pick up your brother from school. (yes it's a holy grail for a sister/driver like me)

11. A 100% charged phone. (even if it will only last for a few minutes lol)

12. When the items in your wish-list are on sale. Are on sale.




13. Seeing mom's smile (cheesy but true)



14. When you get more likes than you usually get on your instagram post.

15. When your favourite movies or TV shows are about to start right after you turn on your TV.

16. When your favourite songs are available on Joox. Hehehehe.

17. Found money on a pocket!!!!!! Idc how much it is.

18. A good long sleep. I need this now.

19. A perfect temperature coffee/tea to drink.

20. Pizza.

21. Found things you thought you lost. 

22. Waking up with a really clear glowing skin. 

23. Rainy nights.

24. Rainy mornings. 

25. Comfy Pyjamas. 

26. When you wake up and realise you still got a few hours left to sleep. 

27. Buying cute underwear :3

28. Applying temporary tattoos on myself.



29. Bump into people I've not met for a while in an unexpected place.

Dear you,
I  clearly remember that night,
when we had this terrible fight.
I screamed to you as if I'm the one who is right.
It rhymes.

I want to let you know, those 10 months  we spend together are the most incredible time of my life. No guy has ever loved me like you do. You made me grow, taught me how to be better,  to be more conscious about my mom, the business, this life, everything people never taught me. You told me your unbelievably amazing life experience. You supported me in everything I love to do, and you scolded me when you knew it will be a bad thing for me. You made me feel like I'm worth it, like I'm special. It's like you were all I ever wanted.

Then I have to face the truth that you'll be moving out of the town. For me, long distance relationship is just....bullshit. Like, we can argue just because you didn't reply my text, or I didn't answer your call, even without distance. That time all I can think is it's the time to move on.

We still call each other after the break-up. We still do the couple talks, kiss each other trough the phone. We were thinking that it's impossible to move on.
Then I met this guy, who can put you aside from my mind (for a while). I was relieved that I thought I can finally move on. Even though, I don't know if he has the mutual feeling or not. I told you that, I told you everything about this guy (and another random guys). Well at least I told you...


I called you every time I missed you.
That night, December 21st, I called you. I can feel that you miss me too. You still try to flirt with me. I asked you if you already saw anyone. And you answered that you didn't. YOU FCKING DIDN'T.
YOU TOLD ME THAT NO ONE IS AS PRETTY AS ME, AS SMART AS ME, AND THOSE OTHER BULLSHITS. I KNOW. I KNOW I'M AWESOME, I'M THE PERFECT ONE FOR YOU  AND IT WILL HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 
BUT OH MY GOD.....
The very next day, December 22nd, I was having lunch with my friends. (Brenda, Cindy, Jason and Sheirwein) and you called me.
I was kinda surprised because you never called me during daytime.
And you called me to tell me that you're going to marry someone.
This upcoming January.
How can you think that I'm going to accept that?
You told me you saw no one. You told me you haven't met someone like me.
And later I found out that you just knew this girl last November.
How do you think it's possible?
Can't you just meet me, look me in the eye and tell me that you are not making up stories?

I know you will never going to marry me. But at least, please be with someone that deserve a man like you. Please don't be in love with the wrong woman.
At my best, I hope the girl you're going to marry later can help make your dreams come true.
Support you in the things you love to do (besides smoking)
Want to watch your favourite movies.
Sing to your favourite songs.
Love your unshaved beard.
Cook your favourite pancakes and spaghetti.
Just like I always do.

I will always remember how you smell, how you laugh, how you hug & kiss me.

And I wanna say thank you. Thank you for this news. It makes me realise how big of my heart that I gave to you. My heart still skip a beat every time I recall the memories I had with you. It makes me realise that the guys entering my life after you, are just... a fling. Thank you so much. Thank you so much that I have to manage all this feeling all over again.

At last, congratulation to both of you. Don't forget to send me the wedding pics :)
I hope she can give you cute babies that you always wanted from me :)
Last two words from me: Fuck you.



With a big heart,
Your hottest Ex, Terry Sinaga

Hello!!!! 
Most of you probably know that I am one of SMA Mondial (freshest) Alumni. 
So, last few months (I forgot the exact month), one of my friends invited me to a line group named "Ikatan Alumni Mondial". At first, I was like "wow..... okay maybe they just want to make a group just to reach and catch up with each other" and actually it was more than that!!!

During make up session with the make up artist from Anjell BCS!! CAN MY EYEBROWS STAY LIKE THAT 24/7? :((((

Look right aunty right???? I knowww:((

<more selfies> With my outfit on!!! I actually love this look. Kinda vintage-ish to me

I arrived at Mondial in the same time with these guys So we headed up to the venue,  took pics in the photobooth and I decided for this pose :))))) I love it

With Ryandy!!! I was actually doing squat pose during this selfie taken to suit his height :))))))) Sorry for being mean, Ryandy!!!!! More selfies!! :)

With someone from the past LOLLLLLL

IPA CLASS!!!!!!! <3

Us with Hervina, Vivian and Johny!

With the one and only SINDY CLORAAAA!!!!!

With my handsome little brother (or son) :))))

With Jacky Phua!!!! He is so creative with his outfit!!!!!

"memorible night" With my girlfriends! I look like a mom with 7 daughters............ I actually perform  in this event with Crystal Project helping me with the music. But I got no pics or vids for that hahaha....  The committee really worked hard for this knowing that only got 2 or 3 months to prepare. So thank you for all of the committee!!!! I am so proud to be one of Mondial Alumni. Mondial just get better and better each year. I mean look at the building, the achievements, unique events... Most of all, the new British teacher LOLLL.  So make sure you choose Sekolah Mondial for you or your children!!!! :))  To end this post, here is my look that night :) See you in the next post guys!

I'm sure all of us have ever felt love.  I mean, not only to a crush, boyfriend or girlfriend. We feel it to our family, parents, friends, and other beloved persons. The love for them will never change. I know sometimes we annoyed and got mad with each other, I know my love for them will always be the same. Forever.
I believe the feeling of love to each persons we know are all different. 
I love my dad.
I love my mom.
I love my brother.
I love my aunt.
And so on.

I love them for tons of reasons. I believe you love yours too.
But the main point of this post is not the love for them. (it's okay if want to relate this post to them tho)

I love him.

Some of you would think, "Lol, seriously? Blog post about loving him is way too old and mainstream"
But come on guys, the feeling of loving someone you want to be with for the rest of your life, is not old or mainstream. It is always fresh and new for the person who feel it (me)
Remember the feeling you had for your first crush? I know it was beautiful and enchanting. Will it not be beautiful and enchanting for the next person you love? It will be beautiful too. Even the last person who hurt you till you feel so fucked up. It will be beautiful too for the next person.
But do I get bored of that feeling? Considering I felt it again and again  for years with some guys.

I had been in love with some guys before.
I had been hurt by some guys before.
I had already felt this kind of feeling.


Now another guy come to my life. Damn.
Same kind of feeling? Yes. It's love.
Do I feel it's an old feeling? No......
It's still fresh.... and it feels like new to me.
Just like an addiction (?)
I miss this feeling tho.
The feeling of having those positive vibes when I know I'll get the chance of meeting him somewhere.
The feeling when he texts you.
The feeling when he shares his stories to you.
The feeling when he laughs to your jokes.
The feeling when he really listens to you.
The feeling of being with him.
You know it.

Looking at my blog title: No Expectation, No Disappointment....
I believe this is true.
If you don't want to have any disappointment in life, do not ever expect anything.
The same goes with love. You can love someone, but do not expect anything from him/her, if you do not want to be disappointed.
But now...... I guess I am so ready for another disappointment :)

Sometimes I hate myself. I hate the fact that I'm just a sucker in declaring a statement. I could say I'm 100% sure about what I just stated, and the next 6 seconds I just want to take my words back. 

- I should just wait. I should just hold on. I should just stay -

And right now, I'm lying on my bed with my oversized sweater thinking about how happy will I be if have that someone who would be there for me, just to make sure that I'm okay.

But I'm the one who left. 

It's not about wanting to go back or to repeat everything from the start, it's just about how bad I am of always saying "okay" to what my heart wants. I mean that is such a stupid thing to do. I have my brain. I just can't stay like this forever. I can't just follow anything what my heart wants. People will get hurt. I will be hurt. 

The truth is I am just way too afraid of being happy. Because I know something bad will happen right after those happy moments. Being left, hurt, broken, or any bad (or worse) things. 

I just can't understand myself. I don't know what I'm typing. But, one point I want to tell you guys....

Don't be afraid to fall and take that damn risk.

But there comes my McDonald's. Thank youuuuuuuuu for being here with me:(:( I feel much much better after eating those unhealthy-but-so-good food<3